Photo by Betty Merridith
A joke
A woman walks into a restaurant and spies a couple of local sailors in a corner booth. She approaches the table and asks how they’re doing since their former captain had passed away and the boat they raced on was sold. One commented that they bought a boat of their own and planned to do some cruising. She asked “What kind of boat is it? He said a “Nonsuch”. With a curl of her lip she spits out, “A Nonsuch isn’t a real boat!”
How’s that for a punch line? Maybe you’ve heard this joke before.....
That was a true story that happened to us. I must say it’s been surprising to bear witness to the preconceived notions some have about the Nonsuch sailing vessel. I’ve heard words like “hate” and “ugly” more than I care to recall and of course the standard, “Isn’t that a boat for old men?” At first I took offence, but my husband explained that some people don’t understand form and function and probably have never read a yacht design book in their life. Mark Ellis was clever in that he took traditional design and married it with modern naval architecture so how can that be wrong? Obviously the Nonsuch isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s a good thing as there aren’t enough to go around. There were less than 1000 built of all the sizes combined from the 26 to the 36. Our 33 is one of only 80 in the entire world, how special is that?
So there are people that don’t like the Nonsuch design, okay that’s fine, but don’t come right out and declare a hate for it, that’s childish. How about acting like grownups and dial it down, perhaps use your words more effectively and leave hate where it belongs, back in grade school. Choose to sound adult with polite comments like, “I’ll pass thank-you, Brussel Sprouts aren’t my favourite” even though you’re gagging at the mention of them. Hate is for children who can’t describe their feelings eloquently because of a limited vocabulary. Besides, please tell me, how does one hate an inanimate object? What did it ever do to you? How can its mere presence evoke that kind of negativity? Maybe if one went rogue, purposely headed for shore to wreck your home and kill your entire family, well, perhaps hate would be justified.
Maybe the Nonsuch is an easy target like in the old 1990’s Pantene commercial, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”. Yes, I think the Nonsuch is beautiful, after all ownership comes with a certain degree of bias. These yachts are well built with a judicious amount of quality materials. Compared to other designs that flood the market, the Canadian made Nonsuch numbers are low perhaps because they are so well built and costly to produce. Craftsmanship takes time; they are not merely spit out of a mold hundreds at a time along an assembly line. These boats are mostly custom ordered and are more expensive than the average production sloop for the sailing masses. Beautifully endowed with teak and accouterments their spacious layouts are comfortable for living aboard and inspire confidence for long journeys. They are classy, hold their value and are built to last. Put all these attributes together and tell me, what’s not to love?
Perhaps some naysayers don’t like the price tag. A Nonsuch is perhaps only affordable to those with a bit of salt on them, but when it all boils down, they are definitely sought after by folks of any age with great taste. Yes they are much easier to sail than other designs, but that doesn’t mean we are any less of a sailor for pursuing one. Maybe years of hard racing has taken its toll and some want to have relaxed fun on the water, stop to smell the roses instead of ploughing them down in their wake.
And as for ugly, I’ve been told the Nonsuch is ugly in general but bordering on the absurd, one guy ventured that it had an ugly bow. Excuse me? Although I don’t know a lot about boat designs, I did notice that the plum bow on this guy’s Beneteau looked almost identical to the bow on our Nonsuch and pointed it out, but somehow ours was subject to mockery while his was a thing of beauty. I’m not sure the reason behind these comments, what does it serve? Are you trying to pry your way under the veneer of my tolerance to stick a knife in my quick? Is it a reaction you’re after? Well, you won’t get one, but know this, as I walk away biting my tongue, I’m thinking you’re an idiot which seems a fair exchange for your rudeness.
I’m not saying you don’t have a right to your opinion. For all I care, you can dislike or hate the Nonsuch every day of the week and twice as much on Sunday. What I’m protesting is your need to stand right in front of us with a face that looks like you’re swallowing Buckley’s and tell us our boat is ugly. If you owned a boat I would never come up to you and condemn your choice, point out what I perceive to be its flaws or try to rain on your happy parade. To me it’s equal to saying my child is ugly or maybe you think poodles look stupid. I’d rip my own tongue out and stomp it with the heel of my deck shoe before I offered such obnoxious opinions back.
One person said he’d pass on a sail because he likes to do things, you know, have a job, trim a sail, that he’s not the type to just sit like meat on the rail. Well from the size of him, I think perhaps he’s been doing just that, but I kept it to myself, I’m not above being mean in my head, it’s a natural defense against the absurd. Apparently it’s believed we leave the mooring and sit twiddling our thumbs the entire time we’re on the water. They think a Nonsuch is so simple to maneuver it sails itself; a child could do it with zero skill. Maybe they envision us on board, doing a bit of macramé or knitting, perhaps whittling on a piece of pine as we tootle around the harbour. Obviously these boats sport a magical sail that trims itself and knows exactly what to do in all wind conditions, tacks and jibes on its own and avoids the rocky shores, reefs and shoals while we sit back in our spacious cockpits with not a thing to do, all sentimental about the good ole days, when we were physically able to handle a “real” boat.
Believe me when I say that a Nonsuch is not for old geezers and we could have taken this guy out for a sail to foster a different opinion but we have nothing to prove and maybe we didn’t want to spend any time with such a big blowhard. I’ll bet he walked away thinking he had a lucky escape, spared from an afternoon of boredom, hanging with a bunch of liver spotted geriatrics, apparently a perceived prerequisite for Nonsuch ownership. With one foot in a watery grave and the other on a nonboat, we sailing sellouts would just drag y’all down.
What you hear from strangers is one thing, but a gal we know came right out and exclaimed “hate” accentuated with eye rolls, head shaking and spoke with much the same disdain as eating an apple full of worms. “Oh no!” she says with ear piercing decibels, “Tell me you didn’t buy a Nonsuch?!” I’m not asking anyone to love, or even like this design, only appreciate that perhaps we are very happy with our boat so stop trying to impress us with your lack of tact and bad manners. Yes, I’ve heard the power versus sail debate, but I never dreamed I would experience boat prejudice or that such a thing even existed within its own class. Why can’t we all have fun on the water in whatever vessel we’ve chosen, wave to one another as we pass by and play nice.
On the flip side, we’ve heard plenty of wonderful comments for the Nonsuch and lots of enthusiasm to be invited for a sail. The curious that come to the end of the wharf to check us out and ask what kind of boat we have leave impressed. If we welcome them aboard they are wowed by the spacious teak appointed cabin, list of amenities and convenient layout. It is highly recognizable with the wishbone boom, a feature that few sailboats have utilized as much as the Nonsuch designs, making them stand out in a mooring field.
And as for thrills on the water, all boats have their hull speed and hubby who is an experienced, long time racer, is fully satisfied with her performance and looks forward to cruising around the islands of Mahone Bay, weekend jaunts up and down the coast of Nova Scotia and racing this fall at the Annual Nonsuch Rendezvous. He says, “Aar, she’s Bristol fashion and ship shape, easy on the eye and made for the sea.”
The old saying is true, “Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one” but really, like the aforementioned body part, perhaps some people should keep their thoughts private as well. All in all, it’s been a surprising education, one that I could have lived without. Let there be haters if they wish, but we certainly love our boat and all the other Nonsuch owners we’ve met share this same sentiment!
A woman walks into a restaurant and spies a couple of local sailors in a corner booth. She approaches the table and asks how they’re doing since their former captain had passed away and the boat they raced on was sold. One commented that they bought a boat of their own and planned to do some cruising. She asked “What kind of boat is it? He said a “Nonsuch”. With a curl of her lip she spits out, “A Nonsuch isn’t a real boat!”
How’s that for a punch line? Maybe you’ve heard this joke before.....
That was a true story that happened to us. I must say it’s been surprising to bear witness to the preconceived notions some have about the Nonsuch sailing vessel. I’ve heard words like “hate” and “ugly” more than I care to recall and of course the standard, “Isn’t that a boat for old men?” At first I took offence, but my husband explained that some people don’t understand form and function and probably have never read a yacht design book in their life. Mark Ellis was clever in that he took traditional design and married it with modern naval architecture so how can that be wrong? Obviously the Nonsuch isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s a good thing as there aren’t enough to go around. There were less than 1000 built of all the sizes combined from the 26 to the 36. Our 33 is one of only 80 in the entire world, how special is that?
So there are people that don’t like the Nonsuch design, okay that’s fine, but don’t come right out and declare a hate for it, that’s childish. How about acting like grownups and dial it down, perhaps use your words more effectively and leave hate where it belongs, back in grade school. Choose to sound adult with polite comments like, “I’ll pass thank-you, Brussel Sprouts aren’t my favourite” even though you’re gagging at the mention of them. Hate is for children who can’t describe their feelings eloquently because of a limited vocabulary. Besides, please tell me, how does one hate an inanimate object? What did it ever do to you? How can its mere presence evoke that kind of negativity? Maybe if one went rogue, purposely headed for shore to wreck your home and kill your entire family, well, perhaps hate would be justified.
Maybe the Nonsuch is an easy target like in the old 1990’s Pantene commercial, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”. Yes, I think the Nonsuch is beautiful, after all ownership comes with a certain degree of bias. These yachts are well built with a judicious amount of quality materials. Compared to other designs that flood the market, the Canadian made Nonsuch numbers are low perhaps because they are so well built and costly to produce. Craftsmanship takes time; they are not merely spit out of a mold hundreds at a time along an assembly line. These boats are mostly custom ordered and are more expensive than the average production sloop for the sailing masses. Beautifully endowed with teak and accouterments their spacious layouts are comfortable for living aboard and inspire confidence for long journeys. They are classy, hold their value and are built to last. Put all these attributes together and tell me, what’s not to love?
Perhaps some naysayers don’t like the price tag. A Nonsuch is perhaps only affordable to those with a bit of salt on them, but when it all boils down, they are definitely sought after by folks of any age with great taste. Yes they are much easier to sail than other designs, but that doesn’t mean we are any less of a sailor for pursuing one. Maybe years of hard racing has taken its toll and some want to have relaxed fun on the water, stop to smell the roses instead of ploughing them down in their wake.
And as for ugly, I’ve been told the Nonsuch is ugly in general but bordering on the absurd, one guy ventured that it had an ugly bow. Excuse me? Although I don’t know a lot about boat designs, I did notice that the plum bow on this guy’s Beneteau looked almost identical to the bow on our Nonsuch and pointed it out, but somehow ours was subject to mockery while his was a thing of beauty. I’m not sure the reason behind these comments, what does it serve? Are you trying to pry your way under the veneer of my tolerance to stick a knife in my quick? Is it a reaction you’re after? Well, you won’t get one, but know this, as I walk away biting my tongue, I’m thinking you’re an idiot which seems a fair exchange for your rudeness.
I’m not saying you don’t have a right to your opinion. For all I care, you can dislike or hate the Nonsuch every day of the week and twice as much on Sunday. What I’m protesting is your need to stand right in front of us with a face that looks like you’re swallowing Buckley’s and tell us our boat is ugly. If you owned a boat I would never come up to you and condemn your choice, point out what I perceive to be its flaws or try to rain on your happy parade. To me it’s equal to saying my child is ugly or maybe you think poodles look stupid. I’d rip my own tongue out and stomp it with the heel of my deck shoe before I offered such obnoxious opinions back.
One person said he’d pass on a sail because he likes to do things, you know, have a job, trim a sail, that he’s not the type to just sit like meat on the rail. Well from the size of him, I think perhaps he’s been doing just that, but I kept it to myself, I’m not above being mean in my head, it’s a natural defense against the absurd. Apparently it’s believed we leave the mooring and sit twiddling our thumbs the entire time we’re on the water. They think a Nonsuch is so simple to maneuver it sails itself; a child could do it with zero skill. Maybe they envision us on board, doing a bit of macramé or knitting, perhaps whittling on a piece of pine as we tootle around the harbour. Obviously these boats sport a magical sail that trims itself and knows exactly what to do in all wind conditions, tacks and jibes on its own and avoids the rocky shores, reefs and shoals while we sit back in our spacious cockpits with not a thing to do, all sentimental about the good ole days, when we were physically able to handle a “real” boat.
Believe me when I say that a Nonsuch is not for old geezers and we could have taken this guy out for a sail to foster a different opinion but we have nothing to prove and maybe we didn’t want to spend any time with such a big blowhard. I’ll bet he walked away thinking he had a lucky escape, spared from an afternoon of boredom, hanging with a bunch of liver spotted geriatrics, apparently a perceived prerequisite for Nonsuch ownership. With one foot in a watery grave and the other on a nonboat, we sailing sellouts would just drag y’all down.
What you hear from strangers is one thing, but a gal we know came right out and exclaimed “hate” accentuated with eye rolls, head shaking and spoke with much the same disdain as eating an apple full of worms. “Oh no!” she says with ear piercing decibels, “Tell me you didn’t buy a Nonsuch?!” I’m not asking anyone to love, or even like this design, only appreciate that perhaps we are very happy with our boat so stop trying to impress us with your lack of tact and bad manners. Yes, I’ve heard the power versus sail debate, but I never dreamed I would experience boat prejudice or that such a thing even existed within its own class. Why can’t we all have fun on the water in whatever vessel we’ve chosen, wave to one another as we pass by and play nice.
On the flip side, we’ve heard plenty of wonderful comments for the Nonsuch and lots of enthusiasm to be invited for a sail. The curious that come to the end of the wharf to check us out and ask what kind of boat we have leave impressed. If we welcome them aboard they are wowed by the spacious teak appointed cabin, list of amenities and convenient layout. It is highly recognizable with the wishbone boom, a feature that few sailboats have utilized as much as the Nonsuch designs, making them stand out in a mooring field.
And as for thrills on the water, all boats have their hull speed and hubby who is an experienced, long time racer, is fully satisfied with her performance and looks forward to cruising around the islands of Mahone Bay, weekend jaunts up and down the coast of Nova Scotia and racing this fall at the Annual Nonsuch Rendezvous. He says, “Aar, she’s Bristol fashion and ship shape, easy on the eye and made for the sea.”
The old saying is true, “Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one” but really, like the aforementioned body part, perhaps some people should keep their thoughts private as well. All in all, it’s been a surprising education, one that I could have lived without. Let there be haters if they wish, but we certainly love our boat and all the other Nonsuch owners we’ve met share this same sentiment!
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