I’m discovering a new frontier. Heading into territory I’ve not been in before. I’m talking about “The wedding”.
Sure I’ve been married twice but neither of my nuptials amounted to more than standing in front of a man of the cloth to say "I Do" and go home. The first time around I was pregnant, young and stupid, the second time we rushed to marry and then hubby left for the Marblehead yacht race and spent his honeymoon with a bunch of sweaty sailors. I’m not complaining, I got the ring on my finger and the right to use his last name....fair trade in my book!
Sadly, my mom passed away shortly after we wed so the plan for a reception died with her. Nothing takes the fun out of an event like mourning. It would have been difficult to smile and celebrate so close to her passing so I cancelled it with no regrets. To me it was disrespectful to not allow enough time to grieve properly and then later on it didn’t seem to matter. Some said she would be happy for me and want me to celebrate marrying such a wonderful man but I couldn’t scrape together enough reasons to go ahead with it. She was gone, life sucked, what was the sense of it all?
I didn't start feeling cheated until years later and the plan is to someday have a big splash on one of our anniversaries but I’ve been saying that for years and yet another one will soon roll by without plans. Life keeps getting in the way. Maybe the fantasy in my head would bester the actual event, maybe some dreams don't need to come to fruition. And besides, a soiree like this would take time to plan and I seem short of that. Yes, let's blame time, the greatest scapegoat in the world. The dream lingers in back of my mind....maybe some day….
The point I’m trying to make. I’ve never had the pomp and circumstance of life’s more commonly celebrated moments. I’ve never had a shower of any kind, not a wedding or baby and in my case that would have been one of the same. I’ve never even had a birthday party growing up and I lamented that fact for years until the hook-in gals surprised me with one on my 50th to shut me up. Up until that point I guess no one liked me enough to make the effort....
I’m more of the throwing type than the receiving type anyway, I like to do things for others, it’s safer that way. I’m not good with being showered with anything really, the shyness sets in and I get a churning in my tummy and don’t feel especially happy when I’m in the spotlight. In my dreams though, I’m the bell of the ball and I’m opening presents and eating cake and thriving on the attention, funny how the two facets of me, the shy introvert and the daydreamer never merge or meet half way. Really, if you want to see me blush and act like a dork, give me a present to open.
So my son is getting married in August and as the mother of the groom some obligations fall on me, besides the tradition of wear beige and keep quiet. At first it seemed like work but as my head circumnavigated the entire process it started to stir old desires and now I’m actually excited. Really what girl hasn’t dreamed of a wedding with all the bells and whistles? I did a bit of it when I was knee high to a grasshopper and although it’s now too late for me, because duh, I’m already married and pray this is the one that sticks, I can experience the joy of all the hoopla though my son’s wife to be.
Maybe the fluff is what excites me most. The opportunity to dust off the good China, polish the flatware, adorn the house with flowers, pretty napkins and decorations. I do love a good crustless egg salad sandwich, little finger foods, deviled eggs and sliced fruit arrangements, be still my heart. I have loads of silver trays and beautiful crystal serving dishes that haven’t seen the light of day for decades. Polishing silver is almost orgasmic for a crow like me, why I might not be able to sleep tonight from fantasizing about it! And China tea pots and tea cups....I swear I was meant for a palace!
I ordered the invitations tonight. I could have purchased an over the counter, hand written type but I’m optimistic that I’m only going to do this once so I had them printed. Foil embossing, pearl paper, fancy and frivolous. I put in a request for a cake from Angela’s Delectable Delights. I can’t say too much as I want it to be a surprise, but it will be a tea party theme and there won’t be anything mad about it…..very civilized indeed.
Other than the food preparation, I don’t really have a clue what to do next but I’ll Google it for ideas and make the rest up as I go along. You could get lost in the details and protocols. No wonder people hire a wedding planner because it’s insane what needs to be done. Except for the "I Do" part, I’m almost a wedding virgin, I’ve only ever been to one bridal shower in my lifetime and it’s a faded memory. I believe we played games, the bride-to-be was forced to wear a paper plate hat with bows stuck to it, funny how that one part of the day stands out, but I think we can avoid that. Maybe a tiara is more befitting the bride-to-be. That’s the way I’d fly.
P. S. If anyone knows a fun, non-degrading game to play at a bridal shower I'm all ears.
Sure I’ve been married twice but neither of my nuptials amounted to more than standing in front of a man of the cloth to say "I Do" and go home. The first time around I was pregnant, young and stupid, the second time we rushed to marry and then hubby left for the Marblehead yacht race and spent his honeymoon with a bunch of sweaty sailors. I’m not complaining, I got the ring on my finger and the right to use his last name....fair trade in my book!
Sadly, my mom passed away shortly after we wed so the plan for a reception died with her. Nothing takes the fun out of an event like mourning. It would have been difficult to smile and celebrate so close to her passing so I cancelled it with no regrets. To me it was disrespectful to not allow enough time to grieve properly and then later on it didn’t seem to matter. Some said she would be happy for me and want me to celebrate marrying such a wonderful man but I couldn’t scrape together enough reasons to go ahead with it. She was gone, life sucked, what was the sense of it all?
I didn't start feeling cheated until years later and the plan is to someday have a big splash on one of our anniversaries but I’ve been saying that for years and yet another one will soon roll by without plans. Life keeps getting in the way. Maybe the fantasy in my head would bester the actual event, maybe some dreams don't need to come to fruition. And besides, a soiree like this would take time to plan and I seem short of that. Yes, let's blame time, the greatest scapegoat in the world. The dream lingers in back of my mind....maybe some day….
The point I’m trying to make. I’ve never had the pomp and circumstance of life’s more commonly celebrated moments. I’ve never had a shower of any kind, not a wedding or baby and in my case that would have been one of the same. I’ve never even had a birthday party growing up and I lamented that fact for years until the hook-in gals surprised me with one on my 50th to shut me up. Up until that point I guess no one liked me enough to make the effort....
I’m more of the throwing type than the receiving type anyway, I like to do things for others, it’s safer that way. I’m not good with being showered with anything really, the shyness sets in and I get a churning in my tummy and don’t feel especially happy when I’m in the spotlight. In my dreams though, I’m the bell of the ball and I’m opening presents and eating cake and thriving on the attention, funny how the two facets of me, the shy introvert and the daydreamer never merge or meet half way. Really, if you want to see me blush and act like a dork, give me a present to open.
So my son is getting married in August and as the mother of the groom some obligations fall on me, besides the tradition of wear beige and keep quiet. At first it seemed like work but as my head circumnavigated the entire process it started to stir old desires and now I’m actually excited. Really what girl hasn’t dreamed of a wedding with all the bells and whistles? I did a bit of it when I was knee high to a grasshopper and although it’s now too late for me, because duh, I’m already married and pray this is the one that sticks, I can experience the joy of all the hoopla though my son’s wife to be.
Maybe the fluff is what excites me most. The opportunity to dust off the good China, polish the flatware, adorn the house with flowers, pretty napkins and decorations. I do love a good crustless egg salad sandwich, little finger foods, deviled eggs and sliced fruit arrangements, be still my heart. I have loads of silver trays and beautiful crystal serving dishes that haven’t seen the light of day for decades. Polishing silver is almost orgasmic for a crow like me, why I might not be able to sleep tonight from fantasizing about it! And China tea pots and tea cups....I swear I was meant for a palace!
I ordered the invitations tonight. I could have purchased an over the counter, hand written type but I’m optimistic that I’m only going to do this once so I had them printed. Foil embossing, pearl paper, fancy and frivolous. I put in a request for a cake from Angela’s Delectable Delights. I can’t say too much as I want it to be a surprise, but it will be a tea party theme and there won’t be anything mad about it…..very civilized indeed.
Other than the food preparation, I don’t really have a clue what to do next but I’ll Google it for ideas and make the rest up as I go along. You could get lost in the details and protocols. No wonder people hire a wedding planner because it’s insane what needs to be done. Except for the "I Do" part, I’m almost a wedding virgin, I’ve only ever been to one bridal shower in my lifetime and it’s a faded memory. I believe we played games, the bride-to-be was forced to wear a paper plate hat with bows stuck to it, funny how that one part of the day stands out, but I think we can avoid that. Maybe a tiara is more befitting the bride-to-be. That’s the way I’d fly.
P. S. If anyone knows a fun, non-degrading game to play at a bridal shower I'm all ears.
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