Life has been a whirlwind. I’ve been flying around for days like a chicken with its head removed. As Christmas bears down on me like a runaway freight train, there is a severe shortage of hours in the day! I don’t have my tree yet let alone decorated, I have shopping to do, my license will expired in two days if I don’t get to Bridgewater and I have a list as long as my arm for preparations for the holidays.
Work is busy too. Getting parcels out for the Christmas rush is a chest pounding exercise. We are tripping over one another to get it all in the mail. Michelle took about 30 parcels to the post office yesterday and today and more to go tomorrow. We joke that we feel like we’re at the North Pole making wool for the little hookers. We used two rolls of tape today. That’s a lot of tape! I can still smell it from tearing it off the dispenser, heated from overuse. Maybe that’s why we’re giddy, the tape fumes! Wrapping parcels is like wrapping Christmas presents, we love it!!!
Sunday I worked late in the shop getting things done knowing that Monday I’d be in the city picking up Hubby at the airport. I flew around like a witch on a broom getting custom orders ready then ran the vacuum around to clean the wool matted carpets and floor. Little bails of wool dust, like tumbleweeds in the desert blew around as I moved about. It doesn’t take long for the shop to get covered in wool dust when cutting kits, you could write you name on every flat surface. By the time I arrived home at 10:00 pm, I was drenched in sweat and as wound as a toy so I sat in the wing back chair for an hour calming down before climbing the stairs for bed.
You see I had to get to bed to rise at 5:30 to get ready for a trip to the airport. I hoped to be there for 7:30 although his flight got in an hour before. It’s just way too early for me. I was going to be late, that was a given. Hubby knows the score and waits patiently for me to arrive, reading his book and trying not to nod off after his all night flight. I had all the intentions of doing the best I could. He’s such a great guy, so sweet and supportive. I have such a lovely home and a charmed life and it’s all possible because he works hard to keep me in the lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed too so I didn’t want to let him down, again. But….and there is that but, after I went to bed I watched the minutes tick by, hour after hour disappeared into a thick fog of despair, there wasn’t an ounce of sleep to be had. There is no way in heck I could drive to the city without sleep, especially in the dark as the sun doesn’t rise until 7:45. I’d be asleep behind the wheel before I left the Bay. Yup, there was no sleep for me in bed, but while driving it would come with a guarantee! I’ve done it before, have the Tshirt of landing in the harbor between snores, so the fear of a replay is always there.
I was pretty frustrated. I tossed and turned like a chicken on a spit, counting sheep, then thought maybe working with wool all day might keep me stimulated, maybe I should count horses.....tried to blank all thoughts, stared into the darkness as that makes my eyes flutter shut and sometimes brings sleep on, got out of bed to lay on the Chaise, put my head under the covers for the warmth to bring on drowsiness or suffocation, whatever shut my brain down first. I tried the opposite side of the bed, lay on my back, the right side, on the left, on my belly, on the floor, I tried it all, over and over. I did slip way a few times but came right back with a jolt as if my body was rebelling against sleep, pimp slapping me for daring to nod off. Why I just didn’t go downstairs and sleep on the sofa is beyond me…..why didn’t I bed there in the first place? I know better, this always happens. I can sleep there without fail, it’s uncomfortable, especially with four dogs fitting around me so I am trapped like a mummy in a tomb but the sandman comes without fail.
Of course, once the alarm went off I couldn’t stay awake, as if my body was waiting for the buzzing, like a Pavlov’s bell to induce sleep before the drooling. I turned off the snooze every 10 minutes from 5:45 – 7:30, sleeping soundly, or as sound as one can for a few minutes at a time. No rem sleep, just shaving off the deep sickness in the pit of my stomach from being awake all night long. It’s an ache like extreme hunger.
The shame of my poor hubby waiting dragged my sorry arse out of bed. My eye lids were half-mast as I showered. I brushed my teeth three times, forgetting I’d already done it each time. It took two coffees before I was wide eyed and bushy tailed enough to drive and then I was fine. The hour long ride to the airport was uneventful, then hubby and I went out for breakfast followed by a bit of shopping in the Christmas crazy city, good lord the people and lineups!
It’s no secret I suffer occasionally without sleep that I refuse to take drugs for it. If it’s caused by menopause that will go away in time, I’ll wait it out. It comes and it goes, so there is reprieve more than not. During the worst times of the month, I’m functioning on four hours or less and seem to be keeping it together; I’m hoping there won’t be any long term complications. It’s my life so I just grin and bare it. Whatdoyoudo?
I do find it a bit frustrating that my hubby doesn’t understand….not quite as exasperating as waiting at the airport with no one there to greet or pick them up on time.....but close. He thinks I fight sleep. Tells me to stop struggling so much. Aw sweet…….if it wasn’t for the fact that I am so happy with the newness of his homecoming I might slug him. For those, like my hubby, who fall asleep before their head hits the pillow they don’t understand the struggle of the insomniac. They think we do it on purpose. I’m told, just sleep! All I would like to say is don’t be so smug with being able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, because the scientists say that you are sleep deprived as well, not getting enough hours, or at least enough of what you must need, so basically you’re standing in my shoes whether you know it or not.
Work is busy too. Getting parcels out for the Christmas rush is a chest pounding exercise. We are tripping over one another to get it all in the mail. Michelle took about 30 parcels to the post office yesterday and today and more to go tomorrow. We joke that we feel like we’re at the North Pole making wool for the little hookers. We used two rolls of tape today. That’s a lot of tape! I can still smell it from tearing it off the dispenser, heated from overuse. Maybe that’s why we’re giddy, the tape fumes! Wrapping parcels is like wrapping Christmas presents, we love it!!!
Sunday I worked late in the shop getting things done knowing that Monday I’d be in the city picking up Hubby at the airport. I flew around like a witch on a broom getting custom orders ready then ran the vacuum around to clean the wool matted carpets and floor. Little bails of wool dust, like tumbleweeds in the desert blew around as I moved about. It doesn’t take long for the shop to get covered in wool dust when cutting kits, you could write you name on every flat surface. By the time I arrived home at 10:00 pm, I was drenched in sweat and as wound as a toy so I sat in the wing back chair for an hour calming down before climbing the stairs for bed.
You see I had to get to bed to rise at 5:30 to get ready for a trip to the airport. I hoped to be there for 7:30 although his flight got in an hour before. It’s just way too early for me. I was going to be late, that was a given. Hubby knows the score and waits patiently for me to arrive, reading his book and trying not to nod off after his all night flight. I had all the intentions of doing the best I could. He’s such a great guy, so sweet and supportive. I have such a lovely home and a charmed life and it’s all possible because he works hard to keep me in the lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed too so I didn’t want to let him down, again. But….and there is that but, after I went to bed I watched the minutes tick by, hour after hour disappeared into a thick fog of despair, there wasn’t an ounce of sleep to be had. There is no way in heck I could drive to the city without sleep, especially in the dark as the sun doesn’t rise until 7:45. I’d be asleep behind the wheel before I left the Bay. Yup, there was no sleep for me in bed, but while driving it would come with a guarantee! I’ve done it before, have the Tshirt of landing in the harbor between snores, so the fear of a replay is always there.
I was pretty frustrated. I tossed and turned like a chicken on a spit, counting sheep, then thought maybe working with wool all day might keep me stimulated, maybe I should count horses.....tried to blank all thoughts, stared into the darkness as that makes my eyes flutter shut and sometimes brings sleep on, got out of bed to lay on the Chaise, put my head under the covers for the warmth to bring on drowsiness or suffocation, whatever shut my brain down first. I tried the opposite side of the bed, lay on my back, the right side, on the left, on my belly, on the floor, I tried it all, over and over. I did slip way a few times but came right back with a jolt as if my body was rebelling against sleep, pimp slapping me for daring to nod off. Why I just didn’t go downstairs and sleep on the sofa is beyond me…..why didn’t I bed there in the first place? I know better, this always happens. I can sleep there without fail, it’s uncomfortable, especially with four dogs fitting around me so I am trapped like a mummy in a tomb but the sandman comes without fail.
Of course, once the alarm went off I couldn’t stay awake, as if my body was waiting for the buzzing, like a Pavlov’s bell to induce sleep before the drooling. I turned off the snooze every 10 minutes from 5:45 – 7:30, sleeping soundly, or as sound as one can for a few minutes at a time. No rem sleep, just shaving off the deep sickness in the pit of my stomach from being awake all night long. It’s an ache like extreme hunger.
The shame of my poor hubby waiting dragged my sorry arse out of bed. My eye lids were half-mast as I showered. I brushed my teeth three times, forgetting I’d already done it each time. It took two coffees before I was wide eyed and bushy tailed enough to drive and then I was fine. The hour long ride to the airport was uneventful, then hubby and I went out for breakfast followed by a bit of shopping in the Christmas crazy city, good lord the people and lineups!
It’s no secret I suffer occasionally without sleep that I refuse to take drugs for it. If it’s caused by menopause that will go away in time, I’ll wait it out. It comes and it goes, so there is reprieve more than not. During the worst times of the month, I’m functioning on four hours or less and seem to be keeping it together; I’m hoping there won’t be any long term complications. It’s my life so I just grin and bare it. Whatdoyoudo?
I do find it a bit frustrating that my hubby doesn’t understand….not quite as exasperating as waiting at the airport with no one there to greet or pick them up on time.....but close. He thinks I fight sleep. Tells me to stop struggling so much. Aw sweet…….if it wasn’t for the fact that I am so happy with the newness of his homecoming I might slug him. For those, like my hubby, who fall asleep before their head hits the pillow they don’t understand the struggle of the insomniac. They think we do it on purpose. I’m told, just sleep! All I would like to say is don’t be so smug with being able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat, because the scientists say that you are sleep deprived as well, not getting enough hours, or at least enough of what you must need, so basically you’re standing in my shoes whether you know it or not.
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