
I fought the urge to go into the shop because I didn’t want to get sucked into the sofa for an afternoon of long naps and intermittent TV per the usual and waste such a gorgeous day. Hubby is home now so I can’t blame loneliness for my laziness. Not that I'm ashamed for him to see me curled up in a ball wasting my day off in dreamland, he would be the first to encourage me to catch up on rest from all those sleepless nights, but I feel guilty that he will be ignored when we share so little time together. I felt we should do something together as a family. He suggested a drive to a beach for a romp with the pack but it was way too cold for me in my jammies.
Our family consists of mom, dad and four poodles and we opted to stay home and take them outside to throw ball up on the garage roof. The gang wiggles and squirms waiting for it to come rolling off the edge and they all jump to catch it in the air. Then they run laps around the yard, the winner of the ball in the lead teasing the rest, who follow in hot pursuit in case it's dropped. Such fun and great exercise but the wind was stabbing through my coat with icepick ferocity so a half hour was all that I could bear.
I played with a design that’s been in the works for a while. I made a rough draft of a family tree with winding branches and the upper limbs have rectangular boxes for the names of loved ones, immediate or otherwise. There's a bit of tweaking before it makes it on backing but I'm over half of the way there. The tree in itself will be interesting and would make a fabulous rug, so the option to not hook names in each box will be a personal choice. It’s one of those ideas that I started several years ago and got placed on the back burner when other, more pressing items, arose. My goal this year is to address the half finished stuff and start fresh. It would be nice to be caught up and just jump on a new thought when it arises.
An update on my hair loss. It’s been over a month and the shower stall no longer looks like the floor of a barbershop. My fingers no longer get entangled in deserting strands as I wash it. The fact that it no longer falls out in droves is a big plus, but I also see new growth around my bang area. I equate this success to the change in my diet, eating more iodine rich foods to deal with a sluggish thyroid and more iron saturated foods for my blood. In time I might develop a taste for dulse but it's a hard chew and swallow but you have to do what you have to do! I felt better and claimed more energy right from the beginning. I am one of those people who truly believe all changes need to come from within. No cream or shampoo was going to help. So I changed my diet to enlist more of the foods that might have been underutilized and sure enough there is success.
I’ve really been working on the stress thing as well. Not letting major things reach the boiling point and trying to laugh off the rest. Really, unless the reaper is knocking at the door what could be so daunting that my hair fell out? Ridiculous really! I won’t say I’ve totally changed, it’s coded in my genes to be who I am, but I can work on things and reduce mountains to molehills. I is what I is, so I won’t change completely but easing up on a few things has definitely helped. So I'm happy and confident that my hair might come back, and the fear of baldness is now a fading memory.
Sunday went by all too quickly as most days off do. On the way to bed I looked over at the chair holding my project and regretted not hooking but being immersed it this craft six days and evenings a week, sometimes I just need some distance from it. That's the curse of making a hobby a job, there has to be a time away to decompress and regroup or you run the risk of burnout.
My aunt phoned mid afternoon and invited us out for dinner but we declined. Well I did. My day off is just that. A day to myself. If I don’t want to shower, dress in daytime clothes or be in public, that’s my choice. Besides, a call out of the blue doesn’t give me much time to get used to the idea so as soon as it was broached stress crept in. I could feel it rise up and wash over me like a rogue wave. My breath quickened and panic started to rise in my throat. Enthusiastic hubby took the call and he’s up for anything while I’m screeching in the background “No!”. You could call that man at four in the morning and he wouldn’t even admit he was sleeping, jump out of bed, dress and be out the door on the adventure. Me, not so much. I need advance warning, as much as possible so the idea can grow on me. I need to plan things, work out all the scenarios. I won’t win any contests for spontaneity and I’m perfectly fine with that.
We have a thing this Thursday and I will work into it mentally with careful planning…what to wear, dinner planned and eaten early, dogs to be fed and run, blog done etc. All that will be planned and I’ll be ready to arrive and have a good time. Walking into a situation unprepared is just stressful, not just for me but poor hubby will have to listen to me whine up until we arrive where we're going. He doesn't fully understand why I react so weirdly to social things but he's lived a different set of circumstances and is emotional stable! It could be a learned behavior. My poor mother always lost it getting three kids and a husband who barely qualified as an adult out the door for any event. Maybe I'm pulling a momsy?
So we turned down the invite, the angst melted away and I was back to my comfortable cocoon until I heard him suggest to my my aunt "pop over for a visit". That would mean I would have to shower and tidy up the house, I do have my pride!!! That would mean frantic work and the death of my peace and quiet, stress free day off. I screamed "No" again. So he retracted his invite and politely asked for a rain cheque for later in the week for dinner. My aunt lived with us for three months during her condo renovations so she knows I beat to a very different drum so she probably wasn’t surprised to hear me scream.