The last few years I have been growing increasingly sensitive to the state of the world. I've always had problems but my cup seems to be running over more than usual these days. The state of the world has become a heavy burden and how we treat one another, and the creatures of this earth is disheartening.
Facebook and all the postings of animal cruelty, child abuse, the suffering of people in general have tipped me a bit over the edge. Even before the FB experience, TV and CBC radio were becoming unbearable. I stopped watching the news, the natural disasters and war, terrorism and the suffering of people in third world countries, starving children and abused animals. I was innondated with pain and the joy drained from my life.
Sunday Mornings, hubby loved to listen to CBC radio. That’s my only day off and I would find myself staying in bed or getting up and laying on the sofa. My limbs would seem heavy as if pinned down, I didn’t realize it the time but I was almost paralyzed by the weight of the tradedies I was listening to. So much human suffering. Rape, murders, genocides, hostage torture, terrorist violence, suicides; the stories were caked with unbelievable suffering and it was dragging me down. Back then, I never associated my weekend mood with the radio, I thought I was overly tired from a long week of work, maybe I was lazy and possibly borderline depressed. I beat myself up over until finally, I put two and two together and convinced my husband I would do better with music, something happy and upbeat to start my day. The experiment worked. On the days the music played, I was up and active and the days we listened to The Sunday Edition, I would almost lose my will to be conscious. There were so many Sunday’s wasted, buried under blankets not wanting to face the world, so filled with sadness I didn’t want to open my eyes.
Then I found social media. My intelligence knows we need to post pictures of animal abuse to bring awareness, work at stopping the insanity. But the heart in me can’t stand the suffering, the sad eyes, or the little dead body. My head explodes with pain, tears flow. I grow sick to my stomach and even after the picture is no longer in front of me I can’t get it out of head and the flashbacks continue to haunt throughout the day, or for weeks, even months. I’ve noticed the effects are growing worse and lasting longer. That blog I wrote about the video where that poor little baby was being beaten is still as fresh in my mind as the day I saw it. If I was an actress, that video is what I would use to bring on tears. It was as raw as it gets.
Empaths feel the energy of the people around them. Good or bad. It explains why negative people affect me so much and why positive energy makes me high.
Empath’s can take on the physical pain of those around them. We used to make a joke about how after my husband’s sciatica would flare up, so would mine. I would go months, even years and all of a sudden he hurts himself and I’m suffering right along with him. It explains so much, if only I had known this before I could have used my time to feel better about myself instead of constantly criticizing why I do things and think things. Life sure is a learning process.
I have a soft spot for animals and the underdog. I know that I would beat the evil bastard that hurt an animal in front of me. These feelings have confused me for a long time. To feel that deeply is an emotional roller coaster ride. I can go from smiling to full blown, debilitating sadness, even rage, in seconds over the cruelty of an animal or down trodden human.
Since Robin William’s suicide, I’ve been at an all-time low. I wrote a long blog after his passing but it was so raw I didn’t post it. I needed to get the emotions out, cleanse the sadness I felt so the writing was cathartic. I’ve not been able to get him off my mind. Not the man, I didn’t know him, I only knew his work. It was the sadness, the helplessness he must have felt that bothered me. This man was so full of talent with the ability to make so many people happy, had all the resources at his disposal for help, a lifestyle most dream off, and a family that loved him, but he couldn’t stand another moment in his own skin. That pain is so real and powerful for me, I tear up writing these words.
The other day, after talking to a friend on the phone for hours, and telling her I was having problems with out of control emotions, she told me I sounded like an Empath. I’d never heard of it. She told me she found it on the internet and thought it seemed to describe her son, sent him the link and he was blown away by how many of the 30 descriptors he related too. Later when I looked it up it was as if I was reading my own thoughts, as if someone had stolen my diary and published it.
After the shock of having the term, Empath, describe the person that I am, I began to feel better. Weights starting peeling off my shoulders like shingles in a tornado. That phone call has forever changed my life....thank-you so much Joan!
Now when something happens I don’t have to think I’m losing my mind. I can stop beating myself up for things I didn't understand. There is a reason why I am vulnerable to sadness and negative energy. Why I become depressed by the situations of the world. Why I can’t deal with confrontations from customers. Now maybe through understanding, I can change my reactions, change that self-destruct button to a coping one. I'll work on it!
Here is a link to the characteristics of an Empath. I’m sure some of you will discover, like me, that we are a special creature, not loony tunes crazy! There is a lot of information out there...this is just one site of many.
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?70941-30-Traits-Of-An-Empath-How-To-know-If-You-re-An-Empath
Facebook and all the postings of animal cruelty, child abuse, the suffering of people in general have tipped me a bit over the edge. Even before the FB experience, TV and CBC radio were becoming unbearable. I stopped watching the news, the natural disasters and war, terrorism and the suffering of people in third world countries, starving children and abused animals. I was innondated with pain and the joy drained from my life.
Sunday Mornings, hubby loved to listen to CBC radio. That’s my only day off and I would find myself staying in bed or getting up and laying on the sofa. My limbs would seem heavy as if pinned down, I didn’t realize it the time but I was almost paralyzed by the weight of the tradedies I was listening to. So much human suffering. Rape, murders, genocides, hostage torture, terrorist violence, suicides; the stories were caked with unbelievable suffering and it was dragging me down. Back then, I never associated my weekend mood with the radio, I thought I was overly tired from a long week of work, maybe I was lazy and possibly borderline depressed. I beat myself up over until finally, I put two and two together and convinced my husband I would do better with music, something happy and upbeat to start my day. The experiment worked. On the days the music played, I was up and active and the days we listened to The Sunday Edition, I would almost lose my will to be conscious. There were so many Sunday’s wasted, buried under blankets not wanting to face the world, so filled with sadness I didn’t want to open my eyes.
Then I found social media. My intelligence knows we need to post pictures of animal abuse to bring awareness, work at stopping the insanity. But the heart in me can’t stand the suffering, the sad eyes, or the little dead body. My head explodes with pain, tears flow. I grow sick to my stomach and even after the picture is no longer in front of me I can’t get it out of head and the flashbacks continue to haunt throughout the day, or for weeks, even months. I’ve noticed the effects are growing worse and lasting longer. That blog I wrote about the video where that poor little baby was being beaten is still as fresh in my mind as the day I saw it. If I was an actress, that video is what I would use to bring on tears. It was as raw as it gets.
Empaths feel the energy of the people around them. Good or bad. It explains why negative people affect me so much and why positive energy makes me high.
Empath’s can take on the physical pain of those around them. We used to make a joke about how after my husband’s sciatica would flare up, so would mine. I would go months, even years and all of a sudden he hurts himself and I’m suffering right along with him. It explains so much, if only I had known this before I could have used my time to feel better about myself instead of constantly criticizing why I do things and think things. Life sure is a learning process.
I have a soft spot for animals and the underdog. I know that I would beat the evil bastard that hurt an animal in front of me. These feelings have confused me for a long time. To feel that deeply is an emotional roller coaster ride. I can go from smiling to full blown, debilitating sadness, even rage, in seconds over the cruelty of an animal or down trodden human.
Since Robin William’s suicide, I’ve been at an all-time low. I wrote a long blog after his passing but it was so raw I didn’t post it. I needed to get the emotions out, cleanse the sadness I felt so the writing was cathartic. I’ve not been able to get him off my mind. Not the man, I didn’t know him, I only knew his work. It was the sadness, the helplessness he must have felt that bothered me. This man was so full of talent with the ability to make so many people happy, had all the resources at his disposal for help, a lifestyle most dream off, and a family that loved him, but he couldn’t stand another moment in his own skin. That pain is so real and powerful for me, I tear up writing these words.
The other day, after talking to a friend on the phone for hours, and telling her I was having problems with out of control emotions, she told me I sounded like an Empath. I’d never heard of it. She told me she found it on the internet and thought it seemed to describe her son, sent him the link and he was blown away by how many of the 30 descriptors he related too. Later when I looked it up it was as if I was reading my own thoughts, as if someone had stolen my diary and published it.
After the shock of having the term, Empath, describe the person that I am, I began to feel better. Weights starting peeling off my shoulders like shingles in a tornado. That phone call has forever changed my life....thank-you so much Joan!
Now when something happens I don’t have to think I’m losing my mind. I can stop beating myself up for things I didn't understand. There is a reason why I am vulnerable to sadness and negative energy. Why I become depressed by the situations of the world. Why I can’t deal with confrontations from customers. Now maybe through understanding, I can change my reactions, change that self-destruct button to a coping one. I'll work on it!
Here is a link to the characteristics of an Empath. I’m sure some of you will discover, like me, that we are a special creature, not loony tunes crazy! There is a lot of information out there...this is just one site of many.
http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?70941-30-Traits-Of-An-Empath-How-To-know-If-You-re-An-Empath
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