I’ve rebuked the Cell phone and its evil ways, except of course to be used as an emergency link to CAA or 911, the really important people to converse with. I’ve had a cell phone for when I’m on 2:00 am rides to the airport, in dense fog or snowstorms, somehow that little piece of plastic and metal provided peace of mind. Except for work, no one knows my number and I liked it that way. When it occasionally rang I ignored it, knowing it had to be a nuisance call considering the only people who phone me were with me. Yes, we had a great relationship my little phone and me, in that we had none.
So now I’ve crossed over to the dark side, a 180 upgrade to a phone that does things that has more purposes than a Swiss army knife and is way too special to be underutilized. It talks to me and does my bidding and makes me feel all techie. In the past I’ve been adamant about not being one of those people who carry their phones everywhere, actually promising to “eat my shirt if I ever texted”! Well, quick… pour me a glass of water so I don’t choke on the fabric!
It’s been my opinion that Texting is a form of impersonal communication that borders on rudeness. The latter comes in to play when you ignore the real, flesh and blood person in front of you and finger chat with someone else. I sat in a restaurant once, watching a two men and one woman all tap, tap, tapping their fingers, texting a person or persons unknown. Not a word was spoken until the waitress took their orders and then back to the phones. Once the meal came the phones were put down, a bite was taken and the phone picked up again. The entire meal went, bite, text, bite, text, not a word was spoken. I couldn’t help but wonder why these folks were dining together, why weren’t they out with the people they really liked, the ones they were texting. My son once told me that people at a party he attended were texting one another while sitting on the same sofa so maybe the restaurant trio were communing nonverbally with each other. It baffles me and I’ve pledged I wouldn’t be caught dead doing it! Which of course is a ridiculous statement…you can’t text when you’re dead! So I’ll wipe off the egg and get on with it, maybe learn to never say “never” and keep an open mind about newfangled technology. I do promise though....I will eat my shirt if I'm ever so rude as to ignore the real person in front of me to text another on the phone.
I’ve sent my first few texts and decided I would like to do more but don’t have anyone to message other than one friend and my son. On the way home from the phone store I nonchalantly sent Shane a message to ask if anyone had been in the shop and I wished I was a fly on the wall to see his face. He probably thought, “where’s my mother, what have you done with her?” Now I have to build an entourage of Texters so I can send and receive messages, now that I've been converted I want to play.
The antiquated cell phone I deserted was solely used as an emergency security blanket. I told this to the clerk at the phone store and he shook his head when he looked up my expired contract discovering it had been running for 82 months, I gathered by his expression, I’d set some sort of record for being stupid and uninformed. They told me I could have done this or done that, offering suggestions about plans but it was like listening to a foreign language. I paid a monthly bill and used the phone for emergencies, pretty simple. I didn’t know I should have bought a phone card with minutes and not been paying monthly fees. I’m not a stupid person so don’t mock my ignorance, if I’m not told these things, how do I find them out? The company might have been amiss taking my money without offering me options, but I have to take some ownership for it as well.
My conversation with the clerk has now drawn attention and they have grown to three in number and then the boss came over and I became the entertainment of the day. So I worked it and told them I was buckling to peer pressure at 54. We all laughed, maybe me more than them. My son and friends have Apple products, so in the end I opted for the IPhone 5C, and “C” being for Christine, I thought it fitting.
It was interesting, as I am making my purchase I’m told that none of the employees of the store have IPhones, that they aren’t liked, most had something called androids, which to me meant R2D2. I kept quiet on that one. My hubby seemed to follow them but I thought it a strange sales pitch to dis the product the customer was buying. They did say the phone was easy, even a dummy could use it so I said “sold”.
There was apparently an IPhone even newer than the one I ended taking. Something called the 5S but that seemed to have way too many bells and whistles for someone that had been dipping their toe into the shallow end of the pool and was now deciding to jump into the deep end in one swift plunge. Either choice put me in way over my head but in the end the biggest selling feature of the 5C offered no money down, just the monthly plan whereas the 5S came with a $250.00 price tag plus the plan fee. I wanted to walk away as painless as possible although in the end with extended warrantees, top of the line case, and this and that it was a $300.00 drop. They sure get you by the short and curlies with all those extras and hidden costs. Ironic because the only reason I was in the store in the first place was to buy a cover for my archaic Nokia that was apparently so worthless they didn’t sell anything to protect it. I went to every store in the mall and all I got were head shakes and looks of pity. I’m told I had to put it in a zippered pouch, something clumsy to fumble with and drop. The phone’s gone flying many times, the slippery devil was like a greased torpedo and after having the back fly off and the battery sail across the room more times than I care to admit, I figured I’d better get it a cover. So not wanting to stuff my phone in what seemed like a black cadaver bag, the dazzling displays of new phones tempted me. They had such pretty cases to choose from and I’m all about the pretty.
If I’m being truthful, the biggest objection to cell phones is that I’m not a great converser with gadgets, it’s like eating dry, stale bread; I choke. I’m one of those people who never have the perfect spontaneous reply, it comes to me later after it’s too late. I read somewhere that introverts don’t like talking on the phone and I said “Bingo”, that’s me! For business I manage nicely, but at home I avoid the phone like the plague, sometimes not even answering it, letting it go to the machine and returning the call when I'm in the mood to talk. For years I thought I was weird but now that studies have been conducted and I have a bonafide excuse for my anti-social behavior, I’m delighted. I’ve analyzed why I’m like this and don’t think it’s solely the talking, it’s the out of the blue ring that puts me off. I need time to prepare for conversation, psych myself up, think of clever things to say, do some editing and be ready. Being caught off guard causes unsavoury pauses that bring on awkwardness and a fluster of meaningless jabber that embarrasses me. No, I need time and preparation to be my witty, alter ego, extroverted self, dazzle you with charm and clever retorts.
So texting just might be the answer and now I have the phone to do it. I can plan my response when ready, no out of the blue conversations to struggle with. Maybe I’m weird, but I’ll bet my friends will tell you I’m special….and that they love me anyway….