Encompassing Designs
  • Home
  • Shop
    • Kits
    • Patterns >
      • Christine Little >
        • Signature Designs
        • New Designs
        • Seasonal Designs
      • Deborah Sweet
      • Susan Leslie
      • Patricia Perry
      • William Morris
    • Supplies >
      • Backings
      • Frames
      • Hooks
      • Books
      • Extra
    • Wool >
      • Abrashed
      • Custom Dyeing
      • Dyed Bundles
      • Dyed Curly Mohair
      • Dyed Spots
      • Dyed Values
      • Dyed Yarn
      • Jacquard Dice Dyes
      • Natural & Colours
      • Plaids & Textures
      • Dye Books & Swatches
  • Ordering
  • Blog
  • Workshops
  • Our Story
  • Contact Us

It's been a rough year......

10/21/2018

4 Comments

 
I awoke this morning a little out of sorts.  Crap, who am I kidding, I’m a lot out of sorts. My knickers are in a twist, have been since January and I’m learning that time does not heal a bloody thing.   Once trust is gone can it ever be rejuvenated?   After you’ve been gutted can you put it all back, stitch it up and get past the pain when the scar is a blinking neon light?
 
Maybe this morning is worse because I slept little last evening, or perhaps it’s because my knee is acting up, the nerve feels like it’s being sawn in half with a dull blade.   Pain is a mood shaper, can drag anyone from a sunny porch to a dark, dank, windowless basement.  Discomfort is part of this slump, that’s a given, but only a portion of it.  Today  is like many when I forcible pull up the big girl panties, thank my lucky stars for all my blessings, repeat my mantra in the mirror that “I am a good person”, smile and be happy to be alive. 

Some days are heavier and harder to crawl out from under.  Today is one. Today I wallow.  I’m ashamed I can let others do this to me; it’s a bitter pill that I swallow, funny how swallow has wallow in it.  Perhaps one has to visit darker days to appreciate the brighter ones. 

Under all the gratitude, something persists, niggling at me until it accumulates into a large block so I stumble, then I get back up and it starts all over again.  This fog in my head, sadness, a thief to steal my bliss started on my birthday last year.   2018 has been tough on my personal life and its taken months to deal with and accept.  Everything can change in a minute, what you think you know can turn on you and you are left asking why?  There are never any answers, just assumptions but what it boils down to is people are fickle, they are out for their own agenda and loyalty isn’t guaranteed in any situation. Someone kicked my dog and all my friends deserted me, took their side even though I never asked anyone to take sides, my friendship carried less value I guess. It's was another kick, to my pride this time, knowing I'm as disposable as table scraps didn't do much for my self esteem.  The wife of the abuser told my husband I’m unstable and should be on drugs because I wrote a heartfelt blog of the traumatizing event, the abuser told my husband that he didn't mean to hit Jake in the face because he was aiming for his neck.  People are telling me that they are saying it didn’t happen, that it’s a lie.  My husband and I are not liars. 

Its been almost a year since it happened, yet for me it runs on a reel in my brain as if it was yesterday, the truth of it as ugly as when it happened.   Some will say I shouldn't write this, but the burden of this truth is too heavy to carry anymore, I have to heal it like any festering sore and putting my feelings into words is cathartic.  Besides, I have nothing else to lose; I’ve already lost it all. My husband says there was nothing to lose if it can be gone that easily and he’s right, I obviously thought more of my friends than they did me.  And that’s okay, the delusion I was under is gone.  

I’ve never been the happiest clown at the circus, I’ve lived through a lot of dark shit, I’ve seen how low humans can fall, I’ve been manipulated, abused and bullied by those I loved, those who were supposed to love me, and despite this I don’t begrudge my past, I am the person I am today because of it, honest, loyal, a gate keeper, I'm the kind of person you'd want to have your back, be your friend. 

I'm sending these words out into the universe to put an end to this unfortunate story so I can begin a new chapter.  I no longer want to dwell on it or give it another thought.  I'm hoping that 2019 will be a better year for me, and for my husband as he was as dismayed and shocked how everything turned out as I am.  This past year I've been perpetually sad, circumstances have even stolen my writing bliss so I've been silent.....its time to move on and recapture the old Christine but give her a new upgrade.     

​In my past, because I’ve seen the worst people can throw at me, I was able to appreciate the good, but, and there is always that but, I hoped that as I got older, away from the naysayers and people who didn’t have my best interest at heart, I would see more caring, more support, more of the positive sides of relationships.  Here I am almost 60, starting over and more dismayed than ever before.......   
4 Comments
Meridiana
11/28/2018 11:08:56 am

Ouch. So sorry. <hugs> May 2019 be full of delightful surprises for you, as 2018 disappears in the rear view mirror.

Reply
Christine
11/29/2018 11:44:07 am

Thanks Meridiana!

Reply
Barbara
12/13/2018 01:45:01 am

After I finished hooking for the night, I made a cup of Barry’s tea, then did a search for something or other to do with hooking and came across your shop and your blog. It’s now half past four in the morning and I’ve been up reading all night. Somebody actually kicked your dog?! So-called friends abandoned you? May the fleas of a thousand camels take up residence in their underwear! Seriously, sometimes other people can be such shitheads. A New Year’s resolution suggestion for 2019: Make new friends.

Reply
Christine
12/13/2018 12:07:56 pm

May the fleas of a thousand camels.....thanks for the smile!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Christine Little has been ranked #5​ out of the 60 top rug hooking bloggers by Rug Hooking Magazine!

    Picture
    Picture
    Max Anderson, Australia, recipient of my Nova Scotia Treasures rug.  An award of excellence for promoting Canada through his writing.  
    Picture
    Picture

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    July 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    July 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012

    Picture
    Picture
    Gift Certificates are available for that special rug hooker in your life!  Any denomination, no expiry date! 

    Picture

    Categories
    (Click on the categories for past blogs)

    All
    Announcements
    Beginner Class
    Christmas
    Colour Planning
    Contests
    Copyright
    Coupon
    Customer Rugs
    Cutter Servicing
    Dyeing
    Equipment
    Featured Hooker
    Giveaway Draw
    Guest Blogger
    Guest Blogger
    Health & Fitness
    Home & Heart
    Hooked Rugs
    Hooking Groups
    Hook In Talk
    Initially Yours
    Jibber Jabber
    Just A Bit Of Fun!
    Life's Experiences
    Life's Experiences
    New Design
    New Ideas
    Pattern Of The Week
    Patterns Hooked
    Pets
    Rants
    Recipes
    Rememberingfbe7326ff7
    Rug Schools
    Show & Tell
    Show-tell
    The Rant
    Tips Technique
    Tips Techniquef0cd117ab4
    Visitors
    Workshops

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture





















    Picture
    We have a pot to "Fiz" in!

Shop Hours:
Monday - Friday 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM 
Saturdays 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM
We are closed during ice and snow storms
​so please call ahead.  If school is cancelled we probably are as well.  

Toll Free: 1-855-624-0370
Local: 1-902-624-0370​
encompassingdesigns@gmail.com

498 Main Street
P.O. Box 437
Mahone Bay, N.S.
Canada B0J 2E0

​Follow us and keep up to date
on our specials, new products
​and events!
Picture
Picture
Picture


Home
Shop
Ordering
Blog
Our Story
Workshops

Contact Us




​​​© Copyright 2023 Encompassing Designs. Website by SKYSAIL