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I've screwed up big time......sigh.....

12/11/2013

2 Comments

 
 “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”   ― Bill Gates
Well, it’s winter no matter what the calendar says.  The ground is white and the roads are slippery.  There’s a chill in my bones that I can’t seem to shake.  Hubby keeps the home fires burning but I spent the evening wearing a coat under a blanket on the sofa with teeth chattering.   My feet were like ice even though I’ve worn heavy wool socks all day.   I hope I’m not getting sick.  At work today I was sluggish as if a weight was pressing down on me, if someone yelled fire I may not have made it out!  Maybe I knew something was about to derail me?

I screwed up and sent a parcel to a customer’s home address instead of the work one and spoiled a surprise for her step-mom  who must have opened it.   There’s nothing I can do about it except say I’m sorry but that probably won’t make any difference. I hope I'm forgiven but customers have boycotted me for less.  I take great pride in doing things to the best of my ability but I do make mistakes because I’m human but when I mess up I can’t shake it off.  It's not that I berate myself for making the mistake, I'm not perfect and have no delusions about that, but I don't like letting others down when they depend on me, and really who wants people to be upset with them....so the self imposed punishment begins. 

It happened because I was in a panic to get the mail out and parcels don't wrap themselves and Christmas is coming faster than a freight train at warp speed.  A mail run is always a race against time and I was frantic trying to get as much out as possible in between the phone ringing and people through the door.  The sweetheart that he is, my hubby offered to help and I was grateful but I’m in charge and the mistake happened but I'm not passing the blame, as the person in charge, the crap ball lands at my feet.  I could do everything bang on perfect for a year, and then do one thing wrong and it would negate all the good stuff that came before it. When I make a mistake I just want to close the shop and stay at home in my safe little cocoon.  Pathetic I know but good or bad, that’s the stuff I’m made of. 

My life would be simpler being a stay at home person with hubby, pups and hobbies, not making any impact on other people’s lives.   I know I can’t please all the people, all the time, but I sure do try and when something bad happens I let it eat away at me like a disease. Wish I could just shrug it off, it's not like I did it on purpose, but  I always have to ingest a side dish of self-loathing before I rebound.   

Anyway, it’s done and I can’t take it back.   My hubby knows how I get so he says,  "You know sweetie, thousands of children died today of starvation or malaria, a parcel to the wrong address isn’t life shattering, try not to let it ruin your day".  He’s’ trying to make me feel better but the person who placed her order in good faith maybe thought it was earth shattering.  I spoiled a Christmas surprise.   I put myself in her place and I would be annoyed too, so  I’ll drag this new baggage around with me for awhile before I let it go.  That’s the way I roll, good or bad I wear my emotions on my sleeve and on my face and those darned slumped shoulders.......    

2 Comments
ally
12/11/2013 01:42:30 am

I understand where you're coming from - I too give myself a large serving of blame, ridicule and self-loathing when I do something similar. It's difficult to change who you are. What would we tell our kids? Just do your best, that's all we can ask. :)

Reply
Charlene
12/11/2013 02:43:44 am

I so love reading your blogs, Christine and appreciate how you write in everyday language that is so relate-able and sometimes colourful! I like that you use words like "crap" ... you always make me smile because you are real and honest. I hope you can absorb the advice from your wise hubby soon!

Reply



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