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Murder on the Orient Expression.......

5/13/2014

5 Comments

 
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The world  is going to hell in a “handset”.   I was fuming last week.  I ordered boxes to ship our new Octi-Spinner Floor Frame and called a company that will remain nameless because 99% of the time they are great...and really, it's all my fault anyway for not being able to understand.

I checked the dimensions of our new frame  and dialed the 1-800 number to place an order for shipping boxes.  After pressing the 2 for English, then 3 for wanting to place an order I waited a few minutes for my call to be processed. A gentleman with a very thick Asian accent said hello.   Now, I will swear on a stack of bibles, I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body.  I believe we are all equal…period the end!  But…..and in this case I don’t mean to negate the previous statement with the but…..I have a problem talking on cordless phones, my hearing is perfectly fine but stick one of these gadgets on my ear and if there’s a low talker, a thick accent or background noise I might as well be using one of those tin cans with a string.    

Other than Hello,  I couldn’t understand him.  He talked fast so I had to mull over what he said trying to decipher it.  The time delay caused confusion on his part.  I  forced the poor guy to repeat himself over and over so I could understand.  And I also had to repeat myself in this two way conundrum. I gave him the order number of the box I needed three times before we were on the same page and then he tells me that they are not in stock, which took several explanations for me to get.  So now I have to go up a size so I look in the catalog and give him a new number, those boxes are apparently in stock.  He tells me the shipping is free, I understand that so I ordered three bundles; each bundle, according to the description in the catalog consists of 10 boxes which were $4.32 each.  He told me the total of my order but it could have been five billion dollars as far as I could understand, so I just said okay, doing a bit of mental math in my head for an idea of the amount of the order.

So I’m feeling unsure and need confirmation so I say slowly “I ordered 3 bundles, yes?”  He said yes, your order will be there in 3 business days, at least that is what I thought he said.  I'm doing my best to hear, I had the phone pressed so hard to my ear it was fusing to my head and the other ear was plugged with my pointer finger to drown out all the noise of the shop around me.  I was embarrassed asking him to repeat everything he said to the point where my face burned bright. Anyway, I finally hung up hoping I hadn’t just ordered a fax machine.....the experience felt like I fell into a black hole with no idea of what would happen next.  I crossed my fingers.    

Three days later the delivery guy drops off my boxes.  All 3 of them!   Not 3 bundles of 10....and they were an exorbitant $16.44 each!    They weighed almost as much as the frames, they would have cost an arm and a leg to mail.  I was livid.  Not only was this order wrong, but my customer’s frames couldn’t get mailed out in a timely fashion!  I stomped up the stairs, each pounding of my feet matched the drum of my heart.  I was almost frothing and hyperventilating when I reached my desk.  I dialed the toll free number and through gritted teeth waiting for someone to answer.....hoping it would be someone I could understand!  I went through the series of questions, 1 for English, 2 for French, Do you want to place an order, press 1, check on a previous order press 2, talk to accounts payable, blah blah.  All Done.  There was a small wait and a woman come on the line.   I breathed a sigh of relief, I could understand her!  

I turned on the desk fan to blow cold air on my angry face.  I said, I am very upset and I will try to be calm and tell you what happened and if I sound rude I am sorry as I don’t want to take this out on you.  She said okay and I explained what  happened.  I told her the story and she started apologizing, apparently this sort of thing happens often.  If she had been rude I might have lost it but as we spoke the frustration deflated, my heart slowed and the blood retreated from my cheeks putting out the searing fire.   She wanted me to keep the boxes but I told her they were way too heavy to ship my items…..they were more geared to mail car engines,  seriously!     She arranged for a pick-up and they came the next day to haul them away…they were too heavy to move so they rested against the staircase.   The gal on the phone chalked it up to a 'miscommunication'.   I called another company I deal with and ordered the boxes.  There  they will be here on Tuesday so I can get the frames out.  Oh the life of a shop keep, the thrilling day to day, keep you on your toes excitement that I could very well live without! 

So at the risk of sounding like a jerk, this is what I would like to happen when I make a call. Instead of only asking for French or English, maybe they need to add a couple of extra categories. I really mean no offense but I’m useless when it comes to deciphering thick accents that I’m not used too.  When I started watching Coronation Street it took two weeks before I was catching everything that was said, up to that point it was all garbled gook.  So here goes....press 1 for French, 2 for English, 3 for East Indian Accent, 4 Oriental Accent, 5  Irish Accent, 6 Scottish Accent, 7 German Accent, 8 English Accent, etc…  Match the caller and the receiver so they can have a pleasant telephone experience, not a head banging, where did I put my gun transaction? 

I don’t know why but I get really angry with telemarketers, banks, credit card companies when I am not able to understand what is being said.  It starts with embarrassment and then blossoms into a bit of phone rage.  I hate talking on the phone on a good day...mess it up with 'miscommunication'  and I go off my bean.  Someone told me the audibility is much better on landlines, maybe I’ll need one of those in my office because I’m not good with this new fangled cordless invention.


I found this on the internet so I don't feel like too much of a prat:  It is very common to talk with someone whose native language is different than you own, and as business goes global, it is necessary to be able to navigate phone conversation with anyone who answers.  Everyone’s accent is foreign in some part of the world.  When we can see the person with whom we are talking we can use visual cues to understand better what he or she is saying.  Phone conversations provide no such opportunity and can be very frustrating.

Tomorrow is our monthly daytime hook-in. Come join us for homemade cookies! 
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5 Comments
Lura
5/13/2014 04:08:48 am

When I get someone with a thick accent that I cannot understand, I apoligize and say "please get someone who speaks American English, because I cannot understand what you are saying," If I cannot get someone who speaks real English, I thank them and hand up.

Reply
Marye
5/13/2014 04:20:24 am

And I so agree with you.....even on a land phone if the person I am talking with has an accent we are in trouble....I have a great problem understanding Asian accent particularly, so much so that I am embarrassed and generally just excuse myself and hang up!

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Phoebe
5/13/2014 09:24:47 am

On several occasions I've had to say "I'm sorry I cannot understand you. Please give the phone to someone who speaks clearer English and I get one right away.

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cheryl
5/14/2014 05:48:07 am

If you are talking on a landline or cell if you can't hear it is irritating I try not to get angry but sometimes I do and hang up.

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Joni Black
5/14/2014 11:09:37 am

an amusing story but so true. I too have encountered Indian or Asian accents and try to be polite about not understanding them but end up just saying thank you but goodbye. It is when I get French people soliciting business from me who do not speak a word of English that I say no thank you and hang up...

Reply



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