Bleeding Hearts watch over Honey's grave.
I’ve been gardening. I thought I was finished with maintaining the three fairly large patches that surround our house, but the guilt drove me to pick up a spade and start beating back the weeds once again. We won’t start working on our boat until the end of June so I didn’t have any excuse to avoid the yard work. And like I said, the guilt of neglecting all my little lovelies after I’d nurtured them for so long made me feel badly. I can't bring myself to desert my Peonies and beloved Lilies. I enjoy gardening very much, digging in the cool earth is satisfying, but as I get older I have to pick and choose where I expel my energies, its in shorter supply these days. I’ve hung up my superwoman costume, I’m more like old Ma Kettle now, my mouth gets more exercise than my body.
Last evening I was weeding the area around my pup’s graves. Louis, and now my Honey are resting in my garden; large slate rocks mark the spot. I sit a lot when I’m weeding to save my knees, and I took turns resting on their stones. I was struck by the lack of misting eyes; it’s so amazing how time can heal a broken heart. It never removes the entire ache because a true love never dies, but like a drug, time dulls the intensity of the pain. It’s hard to believe that only a few months ago I was a broken damn of tears, my soul dampened by the heartache of losing my precious Honey. The pain was so sharp and searing that I wouldn’t have fought my own demise just to stop the anguish.
I remember how I collapsed while burying her, the soil muddied by salty tears. A loud cry escaped me; surely the neighbours must have heard the mournful wail that echoed off the trees and hill. Shoveling that first bit of soil on her dear little body signified I would never see her again and my heart shattered into a million pieces. With each mound if dirt, the pain grew until a lump of despair threatened to choke me.
Now when I go out into the garden I look at Honey’s grave and there are no more burning tears, only a soft sadness remains, and smiles as I remember the little scamp that stole my heart. I guess I’ve stowed away the sorrow to make way for the memories. I think about the world and how many people and furry kids are beneath our soil, trillions perhaps and that’s a lot of grief for the ones left behind. Of course we never forget them, but we do move on despite the debilitating anguish of losing a loved one. How resilient we are.....
Last evening I was weeding the area around my pup’s graves. Louis, and now my Honey are resting in my garden; large slate rocks mark the spot. I sit a lot when I’m weeding to save my knees, and I took turns resting on their stones. I was struck by the lack of misting eyes; it’s so amazing how time can heal a broken heart. It never removes the entire ache because a true love never dies, but like a drug, time dulls the intensity of the pain. It’s hard to believe that only a few months ago I was a broken damn of tears, my soul dampened by the heartache of losing my precious Honey. The pain was so sharp and searing that I wouldn’t have fought my own demise just to stop the anguish.
I remember how I collapsed while burying her, the soil muddied by salty tears. A loud cry escaped me; surely the neighbours must have heard the mournful wail that echoed off the trees and hill. Shoveling that first bit of soil on her dear little body signified I would never see her again and my heart shattered into a million pieces. With each mound if dirt, the pain grew until a lump of despair threatened to choke me.
Now when I go out into the garden I look at Honey’s grave and there are no more burning tears, only a soft sadness remains, and smiles as I remember the little scamp that stole my heart. I guess I’ve stowed away the sorrow to make way for the memories. I think about the world and how many people and furry kids are beneath our soil, trillions perhaps and that’s a lot of grief for the ones left behind. Of course we never forget them, but we do move on despite the debilitating anguish of losing a loved one. How resilient we are.....
RSS Feed
