Jay Leno of Tonight Show fame, used to have a segment where he read newspaper articles of stupid criminal pursuits. It was a great laugh and it left you shaking your head wondering how this could really happen. It’s difficult to believe that anyone can be that witless, especially in a vocation where the lack of stealth and acumen might land them behind bars. Prisons are full of people that made stupid mistakes, getting caught in the progress or screwed up in some way to lead the police to their door. On the bright side, it certainly saves the tax payers money when the lack of grey cells makes them culpable for their own capture.
It seems our normally sleepy town is not without the occasional crime wave. A few years ago there were people breaking into the homes of winter travelers to strip the copper plumbing pipes. It must have been a nasty shock to come home in the spring to a swimming pool in the basement.
Maybe we’re perceived the perfect targets with our unlocked doors and trusting nature. Although, I’d like to make it clear that isn’t the case at our house. I deadbolt the door to take the garbage to the road and the car is locked down tighter than a brinks truck while I skip into the post office for the mail.
But I hear it all the time how others don’t lock their doors. I’m told they don’t want damage if someone breaks in, broken locks, splintered doors and smashed glass. I’m not sure how the insurance companies view this kind of lackadaisical thinking. My thinking, if I’m targeted for a robbery, I sure as heck don’t want to aid and abet the loss of my possessions by making the pickings easy.
It behooves me that there are those that spend more time thinking of ways to rip people off than pursue legitimate work. It takes a lot of time and effort to case a joint, perpetrate the crime and then fence the goods. That seems like a full time occupation to me so if you’re willing to work that hard, why not go legit and get a real job. Unless you’re the Pink Panther on a multi-million dollar jewel heist where one good score can set you for life I might understand, but the average petty crime doesn’t really pay much, that's why it's termed "petty", so you’re virtually living from theft to theft to make ends meet and it only makes sense, the more you dip your hand in the cookie jar, the more you up the chance of getting caught. In the working world, a lot of folks live from pay cheque to pay cheque, which sort of runs parallel with a questionable career, the big difference is our 9 to 5 doesn’t come with the threat of prison. That should be a powerful incentive to go straight. Thinking you are above or smarter than the law might be the first indication you’re not firing with all cylinders and maybe a career frying burgers would better suit.
A week ago our neighbours down the road had a very interesting home invasion. What makes this story remarkable is not the fact that a couple of goons stole items from their house, no, it was the conversation that ensued that’s rather fascinating while they were in the process of pulling it off.
A happenstance knock on their door begins the tale. Upon answering, there are two youths/teenagers/young adults/men (age was not relayed) standing on the step.
Thief #1: “Hi there, we’re out of gas, could we use your phone?”
Mr. Neighbour : “I have some gas I could give you.”
Thief #1: “Uh, no thank-you, I just need to call someone.” So they are allowed to enter the house.
Mrs. Neighbour: “Where are you headed?”
Thief #1 (Clearly the brains of the operation): “Chester.”
Mrs. Neighbour: “Oh really. I know a lot of people in Chester, who are you going to see?”
Thief #1: “My mother.”
Mrs. Neighbour: “I might know her, what’s your mother’s name?”
Thief #1: “__name__”
Mrs. Neighbour: “I know your mother.”
Thief #1: “Oh ya?”
Thief #2: “May I use your washroom?”
Mr. Neighbour: “Sure.”
So while Thief #1 is supposedly talking on the phone, we don’t know if he actually was or faking it, his partner in crime has separated to create a diversion and is tucking an IPad under his shirt or down his pants.
So they leave. That’s when Mr. and Mrs. Neighbour notice the missing computer and after a quick check discover the Whipper Snipper has disappeared from outside, obviously an opportune grab item on their down the driveway.
So Mrs. Neighbour looks up the number for Thief #1’s mother, phones her, relays the story and threatens to inform the police if they don’t get their property back. Incensed and probably at the end of her tether, one would assume her boy has been in trouble before; the mother asks her to please wait on calling the authorities and hangs up. We have to fill in the blanks here but that must have been one wild conversation with her son.
Thief #1 and #2 arrive back at Mr. & Mrs. Neighbour’s and hand over the stolen loot. I’m not sure if words were exchanged.
Apparently there were drugs involved, the mother mentioned cocaine and therefore the need for some quick cash. The moral of this immoral tale is, when in the middle of an illegal action, if someone asks your mother’s name, make one up. Assume the people you are stealing from are a titch smarter than you; after all, they were wise enough to have acquired some pretty nice stuff, stuff you'd like to steal. Maybe they’re also bright enough to connect the dots. And maybe you should consider this, if you plan to pillage the folks in a small community, assume we all know one another so take your crazy down the road a mile or two.
I mean really. If you’re going to do a job, even an illegal one, do it right! Sure your brain might be fried on goodness knows what, but there must be a few grey cells still firing, you can speak, drive a car and come up with bad ideas! Now I’m not saying that we don’t all do foolish things, goof up every now and then, lodge the old foot in the mouth as the tongue engages without consulting the brain. I call that accidental stupidity, like a minor fender bender; now and then we all have a temporary lapse of our faculties. It serves to knocks us off the high horse we’ve climbed up on, bringing us humbly back down to earth, but luckily this stupidity is temporary, not forever.
So don’t open the door to strangers or let them in your house to use a phone. Think about it.....in this day and age, what person over five years old doesn’t have one in their pocket?
It seems our normally sleepy town is not without the occasional crime wave. A few years ago there were people breaking into the homes of winter travelers to strip the copper plumbing pipes. It must have been a nasty shock to come home in the spring to a swimming pool in the basement.
Maybe we’re perceived the perfect targets with our unlocked doors and trusting nature. Although, I’d like to make it clear that isn’t the case at our house. I deadbolt the door to take the garbage to the road and the car is locked down tighter than a brinks truck while I skip into the post office for the mail.
But I hear it all the time how others don’t lock their doors. I’m told they don’t want damage if someone breaks in, broken locks, splintered doors and smashed glass. I’m not sure how the insurance companies view this kind of lackadaisical thinking. My thinking, if I’m targeted for a robbery, I sure as heck don’t want to aid and abet the loss of my possessions by making the pickings easy.
It behooves me that there are those that spend more time thinking of ways to rip people off than pursue legitimate work. It takes a lot of time and effort to case a joint, perpetrate the crime and then fence the goods. That seems like a full time occupation to me so if you’re willing to work that hard, why not go legit and get a real job. Unless you’re the Pink Panther on a multi-million dollar jewel heist where one good score can set you for life I might understand, but the average petty crime doesn’t really pay much, that's why it's termed "petty", so you’re virtually living from theft to theft to make ends meet and it only makes sense, the more you dip your hand in the cookie jar, the more you up the chance of getting caught. In the working world, a lot of folks live from pay cheque to pay cheque, which sort of runs parallel with a questionable career, the big difference is our 9 to 5 doesn’t come with the threat of prison. That should be a powerful incentive to go straight. Thinking you are above or smarter than the law might be the first indication you’re not firing with all cylinders and maybe a career frying burgers would better suit.
A week ago our neighbours down the road had a very interesting home invasion. What makes this story remarkable is not the fact that a couple of goons stole items from their house, no, it was the conversation that ensued that’s rather fascinating while they were in the process of pulling it off.
A happenstance knock on their door begins the tale. Upon answering, there are two youths/teenagers/young adults/men (age was not relayed) standing on the step.
Thief #1: “Hi there, we’re out of gas, could we use your phone?”
Mr. Neighbour : “I have some gas I could give you.”
Thief #1: “Uh, no thank-you, I just need to call someone.” So they are allowed to enter the house.
Mrs. Neighbour: “Where are you headed?”
Thief #1 (Clearly the brains of the operation): “Chester.”
Mrs. Neighbour: “Oh really. I know a lot of people in Chester, who are you going to see?”
Thief #1: “My mother.”
Mrs. Neighbour: “I might know her, what’s your mother’s name?”
Thief #1: “__name__”
Mrs. Neighbour: “I know your mother.”
Thief #1: “Oh ya?”
Thief #2: “May I use your washroom?”
Mr. Neighbour: “Sure.”
So while Thief #1 is supposedly talking on the phone, we don’t know if he actually was or faking it, his partner in crime has separated to create a diversion and is tucking an IPad under his shirt or down his pants.
So they leave. That’s when Mr. and Mrs. Neighbour notice the missing computer and after a quick check discover the Whipper Snipper has disappeared from outside, obviously an opportune grab item on their down the driveway.
So Mrs. Neighbour looks up the number for Thief #1’s mother, phones her, relays the story and threatens to inform the police if they don’t get their property back. Incensed and probably at the end of her tether, one would assume her boy has been in trouble before; the mother asks her to please wait on calling the authorities and hangs up. We have to fill in the blanks here but that must have been one wild conversation with her son.
Thief #1 and #2 arrive back at Mr. & Mrs. Neighbour’s and hand over the stolen loot. I’m not sure if words were exchanged.
Apparently there were drugs involved, the mother mentioned cocaine and therefore the need for some quick cash. The moral of this immoral tale is, when in the middle of an illegal action, if someone asks your mother’s name, make one up. Assume the people you are stealing from are a titch smarter than you; after all, they were wise enough to have acquired some pretty nice stuff, stuff you'd like to steal. Maybe they’re also bright enough to connect the dots. And maybe you should consider this, if you plan to pillage the folks in a small community, assume we all know one another so take your crazy down the road a mile or two.
I mean really. If you’re going to do a job, even an illegal one, do it right! Sure your brain might be fried on goodness knows what, but there must be a few grey cells still firing, you can speak, drive a car and come up with bad ideas! Now I’m not saying that we don’t all do foolish things, goof up every now and then, lodge the old foot in the mouth as the tongue engages without consulting the brain. I call that accidental stupidity, like a minor fender bender; now and then we all have a temporary lapse of our faculties. It serves to knocks us off the high horse we’ve climbed up on, bringing us humbly back down to earth, but luckily this stupidity is temporary, not forever.
So don’t open the door to strangers or let them in your house to use a phone. Think about it.....in this day and age, what person over five years old doesn’t have one in their pocket?
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