It’s 4:05 am and there’s not enough sleep in my weary body to fill the eye of a needle. I tossed and turned for hours and finally crawled out of the warmth of my bed to lie on the sofa downstairs. Usually this solves the problem but not tonight.
I’m tortured by something I saw on Facebook.This is the one thing I find difficult about social media. Amid the jokes, fabulous scenery, selfies and incredible hooked rugs, sometimes there are unspeakable things posted, disturbing facts of life that I am better off not being a witness too. I know life can be cruel, I've been on the dark side of things a few times so I know evil exist. I'm not traveling through life with my head in the sand, I just can't ingest the suffering of others every single day. Pictures flash on the screen of children with black eyes, little animals who have been murdered, abused by the hands of their masters, breeders who are morally repugnant, and all manner of things I cannot unsee or forget.
After viewing a disturbing post on Thursday, I cried violent, angry tears from something so heinous I could barely believe what I was seeing, but this video left nothing to deny, no way to soften the edges. The horrific scenes and sounds are forever etched on my brain. They consume my thoughts, and create a deep throbbing madness in my soul. I know over time the emotions will dim and move to the shadowy archives, but somehow that makes me feel ashamed that I can bury the pain I saw and move on.
Some people are cruel. I can’t even call them animals because an animal has more sense, lives and dies by a code. They don’t kill indiscriminately or torture their victims. They are far more civilized then we are, they have respect for one another, for nature. Killing for food is not barbaric, it is a means of survival, the way of the land. But humans, they are another kettle of fish. We hurt one another, sometimes the ones we supposedly love most. To abuse or torture an animal or small child is unforgivable. If you can do this, there is nothing left in you worth saving. You are the lowest form of life and should be squashed like the evil piece of crap that you are. Death is too good for you, an eye for an eye should be your punishment to suffer your victims fate.
The video was of a woman beating a baby. The child was no more than four months old, not able to sit up on its own. She slapped, kicked, twisted its little limbs and pinched and pulled its nose. She screamed and beat the child repeatedly with a pillow all while another small child watched on and someone worked the camera. The home movie was 4:19 minutes long but I could only stand less than a minute before running, screaming and crying to the garage to find my husband to hug and console me.
It fueled a rage inside of me that needed release, I almost exploded with madness. I ranted and raved and cursed the evils of human life. I wished a plague would wipe out every human being on earth, leave the planet to the animals, not the beasts who claim to be civilized and do unspeakable things. I would gladly die with the masses to stop the pain that so many humans inflict on one another. I cried for hours until I was sick. My eyes were swollen and burned like fire. I couldn’t eat. All I could think about was that poor little baby. My god, what is wrong with people? My hubby thought maybe she was sick, suffering postpartum depression, but no matter, the fact remains that she did unspeakable things to an innocent.
Why not beat yourself stupid, take the woes of the world out on your own face. Slam your hand in a door; kick a tree with your bare feet, pound the shit out of an inanimate object, that should diffuse the internal bomb welling up inside of you. That little baby didn’t ask to be born. Leave him or her on a doorstep somewhere, at least give the child a chance you selfish scum bag. Yes, I know some will say you can’t think when you’re depressed, it’s a chemical thing in the brain, shit happens, but I don’t give a f---, you’ve just beaten a baby almost to death, stop with the excuses. Admit you’re in trouble and give them up or go jump off a bridge. No child deserves to be treated this way, no excuses people, no help, just a noose and kick the chair. Don't allow what you think others might think of you to take precedent over the welfare of your child. Later saying you're sorry doesn't cut it, there is no absolution for this. That baby will never trust your hands again, it will flinch from your touch. A million 'I'm sorries' will never fill the horrible hole you dug.
There is no forgiveness in me for this kind of crime, no circumstance where I would say, okay, I see. I have no sympathy for the offender, my heart only bleeds for the victim, the innocent child who can’t defend himself, could barely lift its head. My god! If I ever lost it and beat one of my dogs, I would take a trip to the garage with the vacuum hose. I couldn’t live with myself. It would eat away at me like a cancer, shame me to an early grave. Maybe I'm a cold, judgmental, unforgiving bitch but I've always been an advocate for the underdog and this is as black and white as any scenario can be, no excuses, no justifications.
And the person with the camera could have intervened, how could they stand there and watch this atrocity? I’d be in jail for murder! To me, they are as bad and the one doing the beating. You miserable cowardly bastards, pick on someone your own size, someone who can at least defend themselves, make it an even fight….me for instance!
What that women did made me so angry and felt so helpless I felt like I would explode. I had to do something, anything. So Sunday I wrote about it in my book, The Charnel and added a new chapter to the story. My serial killer, Mabel, murdered the woman.....this child abuser fit her directive to take out the undesirables of life. The words I wrote were cathartic, a way to heal the wound that this baby beater opened up in me. I needed to create justice for that poor child, it’s all I could do to stop feeling powerless…
I’m not sure if the woman was the child’s mother or a babysitter, she was Asian and didn’t speak English so I didn't understand what she was screaming at the baby. I can’t assume their relationship, but whoever you are; I hope someone recognizes you from the video and you suffer the fullest extent of the law. I pray that little baby is saved from your brutal nurturing and is able to grow up with a healthy mind, the poor little precious darling…..
So I won't ever open another video on FB, no matter who sends it to me. Normally I speed past the pictures of abused animals and horrific stories of suffering, not because I don't feel for them, because I feel too much. The horrors of real life would destroy me, I'm not strong enough to carry around all the pain I see.......
I’m tortured by something I saw on Facebook.This is the one thing I find difficult about social media. Amid the jokes, fabulous scenery, selfies and incredible hooked rugs, sometimes there are unspeakable things posted, disturbing facts of life that I am better off not being a witness too. I know life can be cruel, I've been on the dark side of things a few times so I know evil exist. I'm not traveling through life with my head in the sand, I just can't ingest the suffering of others every single day. Pictures flash on the screen of children with black eyes, little animals who have been murdered, abused by the hands of their masters, breeders who are morally repugnant, and all manner of things I cannot unsee or forget.
After viewing a disturbing post on Thursday, I cried violent, angry tears from something so heinous I could barely believe what I was seeing, but this video left nothing to deny, no way to soften the edges. The horrific scenes and sounds are forever etched on my brain. They consume my thoughts, and create a deep throbbing madness in my soul. I know over time the emotions will dim and move to the shadowy archives, but somehow that makes me feel ashamed that I can bury the pain I saw and move on.
Some people are cruel. I can’t even call them animals because an animal has more sense, lives and dies by a code. They don’t kill indiscriminately or torture their victims. They are far more civilized then we are, they have respect for one another, for nature. Killing for food is not barbaric, it is a means of survival, the way of the land. But humans, they are another kettle of fish. We hurt one another, sometimes the ones we supposedly love most. To abuse or torture an animal or small child is unforgivable. If you can do this, there is nothing left in you worth saving. You are the lowest form of life and should be squashed like the evil piece of crap that you are. Death is too good for you, an eye for an eye should be your punishment to suffer your victims fate.
The video was of a woman beating a baby. The child was no more than four months old, not able to sit up on its own. She slapped, kicked, twisted its little limbs and pinched and pulled its nose. She screamed and beat the child repeatedly with a pillow all while another small child watched on and someone worked the camera. The home movie was 4:19 minutes long but I could only stand less than a minute before running, screaming and crying to the garage to find my husband to hug and console me.
It fueled a rage inside of me that needed release, I almost exploded with madness. I ranted and raved and cursed the evils of human life. I wished a plague would wipe out every human being on earth, leave the planet to the animals, not the beasts who claim to be civilized and do unspeakable things. I would gladly die with the masses to stop the pain that so many humans inflict on one another. I cried for hours until I was sick. My eyes were swollen and burned like fire. I couldn’t eat. All I could think about was that poor little baby. My god, what is wrong with people? My hubby thought maybe she was sick, suffering postpartum depression, but no matter, the fact remains that she did unspeakable things to an innocent.
Why not beat yourself stupid, take the woes of the world out on your own face. Slam your hand in a door; kick a tree with your bare feet, pound the shit out of an inanimate object, that should diffuse the internal bomb welling up inside of you. That little baby didn’t ask to be born. Leave him or her on a doorstep somewhere, at least give the child a chance you selfish scum bag. Yes, I know some will say you can’t think when you’re depressed, it’s a chemical thing in the brain, shit happens, but I don’t give a f---, you’ve just beaten a baby almost to death, stop with the excuses. Admit you’re in trouble and give them up or go jump off a bridge. No child deserves to be treated this way, no excuses people, no help, just a noose and kick the chair. Don't allow what you think others might think of you to take precedent over the welfare of your child. Later saying you're sorry doesn't cut it, there is no absolution for this. That baby will never trust your hands again, it will flinch from your touch. A million 'I'm sorries' will never fill the horrible hole you dug.
There is no forgiveness in me for this kind of crime, no circumstance where I would say, okay, I see. I have no sympathy for the offender, my heart only bleeds for the victim, the innocent child who can’t defend himself, could barely lift its head. My god! If I ever lost it and beat one of my dogs, I would take a trip to the garage with the vacuum hose. I couldn’t live with myself. It would eat away at me like a cancer, shame me to an early grave. Maybe I'm a cold, judgmental, unforgiving bitch but I've always been an advocate for the underdog and this is as black and white as any scenario can be, no excuses, no justifications.
And the person with the camera could have intervened, how could they stand there and watch this atrocity? I’d be in jail for murder! To me, they are as bad and the one doing the beating. You miserable cowardly bastards, pick on someone your own size, someone who can at least defend themselves, make it an even fight….me for instance!
What that women did made me so angry and felt so helpless I felt like I would explode. I had to do something, anything. So Sunday I wrote about it in my book, The Charnel and added a new chapter to the story. My serial killer, Mabel, murdered the woman.....this child abuser fit her directive to take out the undesirables of life. The words I wrote were cathartic, a way to heal the wound that this baby beater opened up in me. I needed to create justice for that poor child, it’s all I could do to stop feeling powerless…
I’m not sure if the woman was the child’s mother or a babysitter, she was Asian and didn’t speak English so I didn't understand what she was screaming at the baby. I can’t assume their relationship, but whoever you are; I hope someone recognizes you from the video and you suffer the fullest extent of the law. I pray that little baby is saved from your brutal nurturing and is able to grow up with a healthy mind, the poor little precious darling…..
So I won't ever open another video on FB, no matter who sends it to me. Normally I speed past the pictures of abused animals and horrific stories of suffering, not because I don't feel for them, because I feel too much. The horrors of real life would destroy me, I'm not strong enough to carry around all the pain I see.......
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